Touhou After: It's a Magical Life, Ze
by Borrowed Genius
Summary: The story of how Gensokyo's most loveable girl finds a magical mushroom that makes her that much more popular. Only she doesn't know it.
1. Stage 1: Hakurei Shrine

Morning in the Forest of Magic. Not that it makes much difference, with the dense canopy of leaves and all. It's not a bad thing, though; there's always interesting mushrooms to pick up.

Today, I decided to get breakfast in a part the forest I don't really frequent. Usually, I'd stop by Reimu's place to see if I could mooch a free meal, but since she was running low on supplies, I thought I'd give her a break.

I'll just stop by for lunch.

As I was picking up some pretty ordinary mushrooms (those that have some extreme psychedelic effects), I spotted one I'd never seen before. It was pretty small, but it looked kind of rare, so I picked it up anyway. Maybe it gave some kind of mystical powerup or something.

Back home, after sifting through a pile of old books (mostly Patchouli's), I dug up an old guide of mushrooms. I didn't really need it anymore; I had memorized most of the mushrooms by now. But it was still pretty useful for the super-rare ones. That included the mushroom I picked up earlier.

…

I found the mushroom description and preparation, but the text describing effects were illegible except for the words 'effects are extremely powerful.' The guide was old, so the ink smudged a little. It wasn't listed under the section of poisonous mushrooms, so I suppose that it's safe to eat.

Magical mushroom soup was the main course for today. I hurriedly prepared the concoction along with the usual breakfast. What kind of power up would it give me? Super magic? Attraction to wealth? Sudden size increases?

… Nothing happened. My magic was normal, the lottery ticket I bought yesterday was (once again) a loser and I didn't grow. Anywhere.

Hmm, maybe I got it mixed up with another mushroom. Well, it didn't kill me, so I guess there was no harm done. But it would've been pretty awesome if something interesting happened.

* * *

Touhou After ~It's a Magical Life, Ze~

* * *

"Uahh, what a day." I stretched out my arms after pouring over a book that I had recently borrowed, without permission, of course, from Alice's house. Though most of her books are about dolls and sentient life, she does have a few interesting grimoires. After breakfast, I spent most of the morning researching magic.

I checked the clock on the wall. "Oh, this late already?" It was a little bit past noon. Time for lunch. "Well then, off to Reimu's." I picked up my hat and broom and left the house.

The flight to the shrine was pretty uneventful. I make this trip practically every day, so I could probably guide myself there blindfolded.

…That might be interesting to try sometime.

I arrived at the gate in a flash. As usual, the grounds were more or less empty. Seems like Reimu also thought it would be a good time to stop sweeping for some tea. I kicked the donation box as I passed by it. A hollow sound. Also as usual.

"Oi, Reimu, I'm hungry. What's for lunch?" Around the shrine was the place where Reimu really lived. She already sat at the table, about to dig in.

"Really, at least say that you're going to come beforehand? You're lucky I-" she looked up at me as I approached and gave me a strange look.

"…Uhh, Reimu…? You there, ze?" That seemed to have brought her back, as she blinked a few times and returned to normal. Well, except for that light blush.

"I-it's nothing. Come on in." She motioned for me to enter without another word. Weird. She's a lot more inviting today.

"Then don't mind me." Shrugging off the unprecedented act. I climbed inside and sat across from her at the small table. A simple meal sat in front of me. Not that I had any right to complain, as a freeloader.

Throughout the meal, Reimu's weird behavior continued. She didn't seem to eat much (not that she had much to eat) and she kept on staring at me. And whenever I looked up at her, she would turn away quickly. All her responses sounded rushed and strained.

So after the meal, I'd usually wait outside on the veranda while Reimu put the dishes away. Then she'd come and join me with a cup of tea and snacks. Only enough for her, of course. Then I'd complain about her lack of hospitality. Today, she took longer than usual.

Reimu finally came out. "Oi, what about-" I started to say out of reflex.

Clack.

She placed a cup of tea next to me. She even placed the plate of snacks (incidentally, cookies) between us, instead of on her far side. At a normal shrine, this would be fine.

Of course, this was the Hakurei shrine.

"…Reimu, are you feeling okay? You've been acting really strangely, ze." I glanced at her concernedly. She perked up at my voice.

"O-of course, n-never been better." She still refused to meet my gaze with that shaky voice of hers.

I was still skeptical, so I moved closer to her and bumped my forehead against hers.

"Wh-Wh-Wha…" Reimu leapt back, almost knocking out one of the screens in her house. "What exactly are you doing?!" She was the reddest I had ever seen her.

"It doesn't seem like you have a fever…" Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. The meal, the tea, the snacks, her strange behavior….

She was playing a joke on me, wasn't she?

I smiled triumphantly. "You can't fool me that easily, Reimu!"

She looked back, perplexed. "Wh-What are you talking about?"

Was it something in the tea? Was it in the snacks? Were they tainted with a certain Lunarian's strange medicine? It couldn't have been the food, or else she would've toppled over laughing by now.

"So which is it, the tea or the cookies?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

She seemed to be earnest, but with Reimu, you never really knew…

Well, whatever. The tea was getting cold, and I wasn't about to waste the opportunity to get hassle-free snacks.

She observed me closely as I picked up a cookie. It was pretty good, especially with the tea. After I finished one, Reimu spoke up.

"So... how was it?"

"I knew it!" I leapt up and pointed at her accusingly. "What'd you do with the cookies?" Crap, how could've I fallen for such an easy trap? Right now, Reimu was probably-

…In tears and about to cry…? Y-you've got to be kidding me.

"I m-made those j-just now, a-and I wa-wanted to know wh-what you thought…"

I felt extremely guilty. Her expression really was genuine. Hey Reimu, that was no fair.

"Sorry. They were really good." Honestly, they weren't that bad. Sniffling and wiping tears with her sleeves, she began to smile.

"Really? I'm so glad…" She looked as if someone had left some money in her donation box. But looking at her like that...

She was really cute.

Shaking my head vigorously, I purged such thoughts from my head. Oi, Marisa, calm down. You're getting too caught up in the moment. It was like a scene out of some outside-world shoujo manga.

After that, we didn't speak much. It was very awkward, especially with this atmosphere. Well, passing the time in silence wasn't a bad thing once in a while, I guess.

But it was still too quiet for my tastes.

I moved to take another cookie. My hand bumped into something.

"Ah." Reimu withdrew her hand. I looked at her skeptically. "Go ahead."

Apparently, we both reached for the last cookie. Without hesitating, I picked it up, popped it into my mouth, and downed it with the last of my tea. Now that the snacks were gone, I really had no other reason to stay there. And the atmosphere was really bothering me.

"Hey, Marisa…" Reimu spoke out as I was about to leave. "Why don't you spend the night? It's a bother to keep traveling back and forth between your house and mine, right?"

I looked at her disbelievingly. This time, she looked back, gaze unwavering. The miko never invited people to stay over. She would only allow them to, albeit grudgingly, when they were too drunk to fly home. Then as soon as morning came, she'd kick them out.

What exactly was going on here?!

"I appreciate the offer, Reimu, but I have something to do, ze." Something was definitely going on here. And I needed to get out of here fast. I needed to go somewhere and figure this out.

Because the one who fixes incidents is now the source of an incident.

Reimu looked crestfallen. "I see. Well, you're always welcome to stay anytime." She actually gave me an official invitation to come around any time I felt like it.

Not that I needed one. I came here everyday before she said that anyway.

"Y-yeah, see you around." I flew off quickly. It was dangerous for me to stay any longer.

Since the main problem-solver was out, it probably rested on me to fix this mess. First, let's gather information (which was really fly around randomly and see what your could beat out of random people). Closest place was Kourindou, so that means Kourin would be first. Really, what a hassle.

But I couldn't wait to solve this incident and rub it in Reimu's face.

* * *

Reimu watched as Marisa flew off. As soon as she passed the gate, Reimu's expression leveled out. "Hey, what the hell am I doing…?"

* * *

Afterword:

Reimu is very OOC here, no? I think so too.

The nature of this story says 'crack pairings' everywhere. Also, there might be heavy OOC. I blame the mushrooms. Yes, definitely the mushrooms.

I have to thank PHA... reallylongnameinallcaps (PHAZONFUELEDKID) for use of his idea, as well as for beta-ing. I hope he likes how his plot bunny is growing.

**Omake Corner: **Coming soon. Probably.


	2. Stage 2: Kourindou

I landed in front of Kourin's shop and entered as usual. "Yo, Kourin. You still in business, ze?" I expected a retort, but I was answered with silence.

Given that it was still store hours, it was strange not to find him in the front, not minding his merchandise. I checked the sign again. It was turned to open. Maybe he forgot to turn the sign and was lazing around and reading in the back room again?

"Hey, Kourin, where are you? I'm going to steal your stuff if you're not around." Though I said that, I really wasn't going to. None of the things here had any real use. What kind of person just keeps junk stockpiled around their house anyway?

I waited a few more minutes, but he didn't come out. Seems like he's not home. I'll just have to go somewhere else and-

"I'm terribly sorry to have kept you waiting, my darling."

I turned around. "What the heck are you saying, Kourin? Did you bump your head or…" Never mind the weird tone of voice, or the fact that he had addressed me as 'darling,' what I saw left me speechless.

He leaned on the counter stark naked, save for a loincloth, thank god. He was holding a rose out to me and winked. I shuddered. How disgusting.

Normally, I'd blast this kind of pervert away without a second thought, but he was still my childhood friend, even if he was acting strange. I decided to go with plan D. "H-hey, Kourin, it's still a bit cold, you know. You might get sick if you don't put on… something warmer." I tried to sound concerned and caring, but that only seemed to make him happier about being naked.

"Don't worry, I've got a heater." He moved around the room to showcase his most prized possession. He's really proud of it, isn't he. "But it isn't the only thing that's hot in this room."

Seriously, he's going to make me puke. Time for plan E. "You know, it isn't very decent to be dressed like that in front of a lady."

He flipped some of his hair out of his face. My words seemed to make him more bold. "We've known each other for most of our lives. We're practically siblings." He started to advance towards me. Not good. I stepped back. "But if you'd like to be something more, I'll understand. Just leave everything to 'Onii-chan…'" I've never called you 'Onii-chan' in my life, and I don't intend to start now.

"Okay, either you're taking this joke a little too far, or there's something seriously wrong with you." I backed up into a wall. Crap. He moved closer, effectively trapping me there.

"You think I'm joking? I'm really hurt… But there is one way to make it feel better…" He brushed some hair out of my face and put the rose behind my ear. He touched me. HE touched ME. He just crossed into dangerous territory now.

"…So there's something seriously wrong with you then. In that case, I should have gone with Plan A from the beginning." I took out my mini-hakkero.

"So you wanted it to be a little warmer? You should have said so in-" He stopped mid-sentence when her realized I was charging it up.

"W-wait, Marisa. Maybe there's another way we can discuss this." He frantically backed up, waving his arms.

"Nope, you had your chance! It's too late to stop now!" Power flowed into the reactor, creating a blinding, rainbow light. He looked for something to shield himself with. A futile action.

"Love Sign [Master Spark]!" The beam hit him squarely in the chest, knocking him into the wall of the back room.

"GUAHHHH!" It was a pretty low powered laser, so it didn't propel him out into the open. Gensokyo, you'd better thank me for sparing you such a sight.

"M-marisa… you…" He sat against the wall, right below the dent he made. His loincloth was in tatters, but it still covered what was not supposed to be seen. He reached out his hand to me.

"You're lucky you're my friend, else I wouldn't have been able to hold back." I turned my back to him, pulling my hat over my eyes. "You won't die from that, so stay there and reflect upon your actions." Gosh, I'm so cool.

"You… gave me your… whole-hearted love…" He fell over sideways, face showing content and pleasure. So much for my cool exit.

I turned back around and kicked him in the face. "I knew I shouldn't have held back!"

* * *

Afterword:

Three months and only this much!? I'm sorry, everybody, but I had no idea what to do with Rinnosuke. Manly, boyish, good end, bad end... In the end, I went with 'perverted,' because it seems it would be the funniest. I hope I was right.

Sorry for the short chapter. I'll probably go back and edit it again some day. I just really want to continue Marisa's adventure. Which might come in next week. Maybe.

Omake Corner

Marisa's Plans of action

Plan A: Master Spark it

Plan B: Master Spark it again

Plan C: Get someone else (except Reimu) to do it and take credit

Plan D: Try to be friendly and reasonable

Plan E: Use feminine wiles

Plan F: Master Spark it one more time for good measure

Plan G: NEVER ASK REIMU


	3. Stage 3: Alice's House

I left Kourindou in a bad mood. Seriously, what exactly was Kourin trying to pull there? Well, I think I adequately punished him so that he'd never try that ever again.

Since I was so close to the forest, I guess stopping by Alice's house would be the next step. Both Kourin and Reimu were acting weird, so if Alice starts acting weird, we'll have a full-blown incident on our hands.

I landed by Alice's house and knocked on the door. "Hey, Alice, you there, ze?"

The door opened. A small doll answered. Of course, the lazy puppeteer never bothered to do her own work. "Marisa, is that you? Come inside." Alice's voice inside invited me in. I placed my broom in the umbrella rack by the door.

Alice sat at her table with some tea. Another cup was set out. "Were you expecting a guest to come, ze?"

"I figured you'd come sometime today, so I just set it out to save myself the trouble." She became red and flustered when I looked at her normally. "I-it's just a habit! I wasn't eagerly awaiting your arrival or anything!" She started explaining herself without any prompting. She was acting weird, but that was normal for Alice.

I sat down and helped myself to some tea. "Well, I didn't come here to play. I'm actually here on work." There were also some cookies on the table. I helped myself to a couple of those too. "Have you noticed anything about Reimu, Kourin, or anyone else lately?"

Suddenly, the atmosphere became extremely tense. Alice started moving really stiffly. "Oh, what about those two?"

"I-I was just wondering if you noticed anything strange with the way they're acting…" The atmosphere changed back to normal just as quickly. Was I imagining things?

"Oh, no, I haven't visited them lately, so I wouldn't know…" She mumbled something incoherent, but that was Alice. I still had a bad feeling, though, as if I had to get out now before it was too late.

"Since you don't know anything, I better get going. Sorry for bothering you, ze." I stood up. Alice started panicking and stood up to stop me.

"Hey, wait a minute! You just got here, so why don't you stay for a bit longer." The cookies and tea were tempting; I was quite famished after disciplining Kourin. But, right now, I couldn't be distracted from my work. I shook my head.

"No, I really have to go, ze. I'm really working right now." As soon as the words left my mouth, the intense atmosphere returned. It was incredibly hard to breathe. I looked at Alice. She had her head tilted slightly downward, hiding her eyes behind her bangs.

"…Oh, I see. You need to leave here as soon as possible so you can go see Reimu or Rinnousuke, or even that DAMN PATCHOULLI!" She started in a normal voice, but by the end of her statement, she was screaming and panting heavily. She lifted her head and looked at me squarely. Her eyes were scary.

Actually, I already visited Reimu and Kourin, but I don't think correcting her would help in the current situation. "A-alice, I think you need to calm down here…"

She calmed herself down, but the atmosphere didn't lighten up any. "You're right, Marisa. How embarrassing, showing you such an ugly side of myself." She picked up a cup of tea and drank. She placed it down gently, seemingly ignorant of the atmosphere that she was generating.

"Marisa, you look quite uncomfortable just standing there. Come, sit down at the table." I'm sorry, but I don't think I could enjoy the taste of anything right now.

"L-look, Alice, I really need to go. I'm actually quite busy…" I started to inch away.

"LIES!" Her sudden shout surprised me and froze my legs.

"It doesn't look like I can trust you not to go to that lazy miko, or the stupid shop owner." She moved around the table, tea now cold. "And I definitely can't trust you not to go to that fake alchemist."

She moved close to me and whispered into my ear. "So it looks like I'll just have to keep you here…"

I jumped away from her. It's not safe in this house. I had to find a way out. I dashed to the door, only to find it barricaded with armed dolls. "It's impossible escape…" Even the windows were blocked off. I was in a pretty bad situation.

"Impossible doesn't exist in my vocabulary!" I took out my mini-hakkero "Love Sign [Master Spark]!" I fired it at the door, making the dolls guarding it explode.

"I'd love to stick around but-" I stopped. The dust cleared and there were doll parts everywhere. But there were still dolls blocking my way out. It was as if I hadn't done anything.

"Oh, it looks like you've broken some of my dolls. I still have many more, though." She stood by the entrance to the kitchen, smiling. She licked her lips. "But I still have to punish you later."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Brute force won't work against a puppeteer in her workshop, it seems. I picked up my broom and ran in the opposite direction of where Alice was. She wasn't running after me, but walking, like she knew I wouldn't be able to escape.

What kind of freaky horror movie was this?!

Escaping through the doors and windows was no good, so I'd have to make my own exit through a wall. I got on my broom. This was going to hurt, but it was more important to get out fast. "Blazing Star!" I chose a random wall and braced myself.

I crashed through and was thrown off of my broom. "Ouch… Did I make it through?" Unfortunately, the floor was not made of the earth of the forest, but wood. It seems I had broken my way into another room.

Countless dolls lined the walls of this room. But there was something very unnerving about them. They were all dressed in black and white, as if they were…

Dolls flew around me and grabbed my arms and legs. I tried to shake them off, but to no avail. The stupid little things were stronger than they looked.

"Oh my, it looks like you found my secret room." Alice calmly walked in after me. She looked as if she were in paradise. "A whole room full of you. So wonderful."

"Why are you doing this?" I struggled against the doll restraints. Alice was snapped out of her idiotic looking trance.

"Why? It's because I love you Marisa." This is some way of showing it! But wait, if she says that, then I now know her weakness.

"Well, right now I hate you Alice!"Critical Heart Break!

"H-hate?!" She stumbled backwards and clutched her head in disbelief. "No! You're lying! I don't believe you…"

Yes, now a little more and she should…

She began chuckling, which turned into a full blown laugh. "Well, if you hate me now, I guess I'll just have to teach you to love me!" She attached more dolls to me, sealing my movement. For the rest of my life, I would become her puppet, and hers alone…

* * *

BAD END

* * *

...

As if I'd ever let that happen!

I slipped out a vial from my sleeve and threw it at the ground. It made a bright flash and fired bullets, blinding Alice and getting rid of half the dolls on me. Just enough to reach my broom, mini-hakkero still attached.

Alice recovered from the temporary blindness. "What do you think you're doing?"

I aimed my broom upwards. "Hey Alice, the roof is the only thing above us now, right?"

She quickly realized my intention and sent more dolls after me. "Stop her!"

I flew. The dolls on me couldn't handle the sudden acceleration and fell off. But I wasn't free yet. I'm pretty sure all the dolls in the house were right behind me and catching up.

No choice I guess. "Sorry Alice, but this time it really is good bye!" Mini-hakkero was fully charged. "Star Sign [Dragon Meteor]!"

The spark fired behind me provided me with an extreme speed boost and also destroyed my pursuers. I broke through into the free air and flew away from the house as fast as possible. I don't think I'll be going back any time soon.

* * *

Alice slowly regained consciousness and opened her eyes. "Nnn, what happened?" Her eyes shot open at the sight of the destruction. "Nooo, my Marisa collection!"

* * *

Afterword:

Wah, Alice is scaryy~ Tsundere Alice was way too normal. Had to kick her up a notch. But she turned out being somewhat yandere. I can almost hear Parsee going

Parsee: Ooh, I'm so jealous... I didn't even manipulate her jealousy and she turned out like that... That Marisa... So jealous...

But I kind of like it. It's a bit rough, though. Huh? What do you mean Halloween was last week?

So another chapter up. Closer to the length I prefer for this type of fanfic, I guess. Will I try to keep a regular weekly update? We'll see.

Thank you for reading.

Omake Corner

**Good day Alice**

Alice entered her secret room almost skipping. "Marisa's so cool, I ended up making another doll!" She placed the freshly made one on the shelf. "What will I do with all these dolls, I wonder." She giggled.

**Bad day Alice**

Alice stomped into her secret room and slammed the door. "Marisa, you idiot…" She took one of the dolls from the shelf. In her other hand was a hammer and a few nails.


End file.
